Sometimes I love change in life and sometimes I hate it. Today is one of those days when I hate it. I just got back from visiting my dad in the hospital. He’s diabetic and his blood sugar dropped to a dangerously low 33 … so he’s on an IV but is struggling … his kidneys aren’t functioning normally at the moment. We’re hoping his health will return to a manageable situation soon and he can go back to my sister’s house where he and mom live with their caretaker. I don’t like this type of change … so I’ve got some pink peonies to cheer me, although I’d prefer that my dad was okay.

I clearly remember the day my father found out he had diabetes. He was at my first house wallpapering my bathroom when the doctor’s office called (they actually tracked him down to my place) to let him know his blood sugar was over 500! It’s a wonder he was even standing … let alone wallpapering my bathroom!

Both my parents are now in their 80’s and their health is quickly declining.

My mother has Alzheimer’s and is not herself anymore.

She’s been my best friend all my life and now that she’s mentally gone, I miss her horribly.

I feel such a sense of loss … even when I’m sitting right next to her. I know many of you know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever had a loved one with Alzheimer’s. My grandmother had Alzheimer’s so I’m not unfamiliar with this quirky disease.

My mom’s caretaker tells me she asks for me every day.

Yet when I’m with her she doesn’t know who I am.  Alzheimer’s is cruel that way.

And now it’s my father who is struggling. It’s hard to see him in a frail state …

… the man who was the provider of the family for years.

It’s hard to see your parents age … this is the change in life I hate.

Watching 2 vibrant people decline before your very eyes.

And yet … I feel hope. Both my parents are Christians and I know they are destined for a better place.

A place where there are no more tears and no more pain. And for that I am eternally grateful.

My mother had pink peonies like this in her garden. I think I’ll take a bunch to her tomorrow.

Seeing her will lift my spirits … it’s one more memory I’ll have of her.

And at night, I’ll go visit my dad and hope he’s still on the mend.

I wish aging wasn’t part of the life cycle. My heart goes out to all of you who have lost a loved one. For now I’m grateful I have another day with my parents.